Christmas Time

 Decorating Christmas Cookies. Last year I made a missionary Kaitlin and I did the same thing this year.

 In the car coming home from our Wal*Mart trip. Were we're given $3 and some odd cents and a name to buy for.

 Family making Chinese Dumplings for our Christmas Eve dinner.

Salt Lake Trip

 We wanted to take a trip and do something. So in November we spent the day in Salt Lake. It was kind of a Baby-moon, anniversary, and birthday celebration.
We parked the car and walked for the rest of the day. 

 Our first stop was the Capitol Building.

 It was on my to do list because you can see it from I-15 because of the hill it's on and at night it's lit up.

 While we were there, a bunch of people were gathering with some posters. When we left Michael asked one of them what the were protesting. His reply was 'Peace'. We gave him a funny look and he fixed his response that it was a peace rally. So not everyone is protesting, sometime they are promoting.

 Beautiful Mountains

 We went to Temple Square. We also got some rolls from Lion House Pantry.

 We had lunch at Bruges Waffles and Frites. A tradition we like.

 We then walked to the Leonardo.

 Michael sat in a cockpit with little leg room. And he did a flight simulator. He couldn't land. 

Not pictured:
We had dinner at Ruth's Chris. It was delicious. However, we had movie ticket for Doctor Strange that we had to get to right after dinner. Well, dinner was filling and we had to walk a little less than a mile. Michael was also concerned that we had take home boxes. We had to book it to the theater and hope that they wouldn't complain about the food we were bringing in. I couldn't book it very well. I had just eaten and was pregnant. When we got there we were both out of breath. When we were giving them our confirmation number for the tickets, they told us that the show was still in previews. I also noticed a sign saying no back packs. Which we had. We were walking all day, we needed water. So there we were with a back pack and outside food hoping to get seated in time for the movie. Well, we got through it all without anyone saying anything. But I think the security guard in the theater was giving us a weird look. Maybe they took pity on the out of breath couple that were going to have a baby.

September

So I've been meaning to post lots of thing but haven't done it yet. So these post are going to be from a long time ago.

Charity told me that a couple of people have asked her if I was pregnant. Then I notice that it was September when people started to ask. So the month that I started to look pregnant was September. If you don't know why that is funny you should watch this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNoV_kSe7Dk

Thoughts

     We've been trying to get pregnant for about 2 1/2 years. I've taken fertility meds for a year and I've had 3 IUI with no success. It was time to move on to something different. I had decided to take a two month break and then to look into fertility clinics. When the two months were up though, I found myself hesitant to call. Every time I thought about calling a clinic I would get a panic feeling. I could not get myself to do it. Later I realized that I was happy. I still wanted a child, but I was not getting my hopes up each cycle to have them dashed. So I was happier. I knew that I would have to wait again until the desire to have a child out weighed the fear of calling. Eventually the desire did grow. By the middle of June I decided I would definitely do something by the end of July. I had no idea that That something would be to call my OB/GYN.
     I remember seeing the ultrasound that first appointment. I hadn't really believed that I was pregnant. I was still fearful that they would look and find nothing (Even now after seeing and hearing it, part of me still doesn't think it could be. It always takes them a moment to find the heartbeat. And in that moment, I think 'Yep, it's not real'). But there really was a baby. It was measuring 11 weeks. It was such a special feeling of joy-a gladness to my heart.

     While going through this journey of getting pregnant, I was mostly able to deal well with it. I'm pretty good at just moving forward and dealing with it. There were times that I would cry. Sometimes I would ask that silly question of "Why me?" Now it's not silly to ask it. But I think that most of the time there isn't necessarily a 'reason' for why you are going through what you are. I tried to rephrase the question to "Why not me?" My biggest answer to that was I have such a great family, a good support system. And it isn't just me going through this, I'm not the only one.
     Then I got what I wanted, and without paying as much as I thought we would. Now that I am pregnant, I sometimes think about those who still are struggling. I know it's hard each time a new cycle starts. And I think to myself, "Why me? Why do I get this?" and like before there isn't really an answer. The best I could answer with is that it is a gift.
     The struggle was a gift; the answer was a gift. I'm to take the gift-life-and learn what I can from it.

When Michael Found Out