Thoughts

     We've been trying to get pregnant for about 2 1/2 years. I've taken fertility meds for a year and I've had 3 IUI with no success. It was time to move on to something different. I had decided to take a two month break and then to look into fertility clinics. When the two months were up though, I found myself hesitant to call. Every time I thought about calling a clinic I would get a panic feeling. I could not get myself to do it. Later I realized that I was happy. I still wanted a child, but I was not getting my hopes up each cycle to have them dashed. So I was happier. I knew that I would have to wait again until the desire to have a child out weighed the fear of calling. Eventually the desire did grow. By the middle of June I decided I would definitely do something by the end of July. I had no idea that That something would be to call my OB/GYN.
     I remember seeing the ultrasound that first appointment. I hadn't really believed that I was pregnant. I was still fearful that they would look and find nothing (Even now after seeing and hearing it, part of me still doesn't think it could be. It always takes them a moment to find the heartbeat. And in that moment, I think 'Yep, it's not real'). But there really was a baby. It was measuring 11 weeks. It was such a special feeling of joy-a gladness to my heart.

     While going through this journey of getting pregnant, I was mostly able to deal well with it. I'm pretty good at just moving forward and dealing with it. There were times that I would cry. Sometimes I would ask that silly question of "Why me?" Now it's not silly to ask it. But I think that most of the time there isn't necessarily a 'reason' for why you are going through what you are. I tried to rephrase the question to "Why not me?" My biggest answer to that was I have such a great family, a good support system. And it isn't just me going through this, I'm not the only one.
     Then I got what I wanted, and without paying as much as I thought we would. Now that I am pregnant, I sometimes think about those who still are struggling. I know it's hard each time a new cycle starts. And I think to myself, "Why me? Why do I get this?" and like before there isn't really an answer. The best I could answer with is that it is a gift.
     The struggle was a gift; the answer was a gift. I'm to take the gift-life-and learn what I can from it.

When Michael Found Out

My Family is the Best

Last Valentine's day I wanted to make heart sugar cookies and put the names of Michael's and Mine Family on them. However, with life moving on faster than I, I didn't find the time. I still wanted to do it and I found the time and the desire to make it happen in August. So I made 49 cookies (turns out I need to practice making sugar cookies). I invited my Parents and sibling that live around us over to help eat the cookies.  I should have taken pictures of the people that were there.

These are the people I grew up with. I love them dearly. I don't talk with them much now that we live far way. But I always enjoy being with them.

I remember dancing in the living room with my siblings to sound tracks like a Aldin and Eve 6.

 I remember Christmases where Dad and Mom would take us to the mall or something we would all search for things we liked and hint very strongly to the person next to us that we really wanted this (sometimes it wasn't a hint but a straight out buy this for me).

I remember what we would do as Dad took us around Europe seeing cathedrals and chateaus. Some would sit in the back of cathedrals and "contemplate." Others would put forth a little more effort and  would walk around the place then sit in the back and "contemplate."

I loved that we all were able to get together the last July. I'm glad that we were able to visit some Family graves in Brigham City and Logan.

My family has gotten quite large over the years.

I've come to love these people as well. They have been part of my family for the last 6 years (or something like that...I have a hard time counting past 3).

I'm glade that I'm able to see them at least twice a year. And when they get together they always have stories to tell of previous trips or holidays.

They care about each other. And they look after each other. They actually call their siblings on their birthdays. They stay up all night playing games with each other. They always have a good time with it. There's no hard feelings.

My family is really the best. I've always thought that. If we ever need something there would be many willing to reach out and help us. I know they love me. I have such a great family that I wanted to add to it myself. The addition comes at the end of February.

Happening This Summer

So I'm not that diligent in taking photos and when I do I tend to forget so share them. So here are the photos I happen to take so far this summer.

This is Memorial day. Michael and I went to a local park and played Croquet. It was very windy so the hat didn't stay on my head very long.

We went to BYU bowling center.

We got some Dairy Queen and listen to the Carillon Concert at BYU's bell tower. We also played some card games while we listen. They do the concert every year at the end of June as part of the Freedom Festivals.

I went on a hike with my Dad and some of his brothers. Dad really wanted to climb to the top of the mountain behind his house (Mt. Mahogany). There isn't a real kept trail up to it, only game or social trails. So we didn't make it to the top on this trip, but we found a way that might work. Later Dad and a brother went back to try it another way and made it. As for me, I'm all for taking the less taken trail, but I'm not a fan of bush whacking it. I like there to be some sort of trail.

I did it! I became an official sewer. I sewed over my finger nail. Unfortunately I wasn't sewing anything cool, just patching up some jeans.

All of my sibling and their families came out for a Family Reunion. I didn't get very many photos though.

These are grand-babies number 15 and 17.

And This is grand-baby number 13, older sister to baby number 17.

Having a luncheon at Logan Cemetery where a lot of my Grandma West's family is buried.

And I had a Birthday!

 A co-worker got me some balloons.

 Me and my presents.

Easter Time

Ezra sitting in a basket at Aunt Kathleen's Easter Egg Hunt.

On the way home from Aunt Kathleen, we saw these 5 trucks looming before us. It was a little strange.

Dyeing Easter eggs.

Easter Egg hunt at Grandma's and Grandpa's.

The Sunflower Peep Cake I made.

Arches National Park

Last Sunday Erin and David invited us to join them on a trip to Moab to visit Arches National Park. Michael and I both wanted to go with them.

The North Window

 As the week progressed life got busy, and I don't like it when Life gets busy. Michael was getting stressed out about school. So by the end of the week were we're thinking that maybe we would not go.

The North Window

 Both of us wanted to want to go, but we didn't really feel up to it.

Still at the North Window

Then on Saturday Michael woke me up a little before 7 telling me we should go. I was mad at him. He should have told me last night so that I would have the time to pack.

North Widow. Some rocks wedged in the bottom of the arch above us.

We discussed whether or not we should go for another 10 minuets or so. Then I decided he woke me up he must want to go. We then had about 10 minuets to pack all the thing we might need.

Michael took this picture and failed to get the South Window.

While I was trying to find my toothbrush case, I decided this was what it would be like if officials called and said we needed to evacuate. I mentioned this to Michael and replied, "So we're going to spend half the time trying to decided whether or not we should go?" The answer to that would be no. If someone tells us to evacuate, we're evacuating.

The Turret Arch. Not quite sure why it's called the Turret Arch.

So we arrived at Zach's place (the meeting place) a little later then we were suppose to. But it turned out okay because when we got their we got a text from David saying that it took them longer to pack then was expected and that they had just left.

Tunnel Arch

This was fortuitous for Michael because he had realized he forgot to pack pajamas. He figured he could swing back to our place grab some and get back before David and Erin could arrive at Zach's.

Pine Tree Arch

He didn't. But we still made it. We got to the park and waited about an hour to get past the gate. We hiked on mud, snow, ice, and some cool red sand. The trail to the Landscape Arch was the most difficult and that's where we had our two falls. First David and then Erin with Tessa.

Pine Tree Arch

 After we saw the Landscape Arch it was getting dark so we headed to the lower Delicate Arch Viewpoint saw the rock on our License plate, then we headed to Moab to find a place to eat. We came across a Denny's first so that's where we ate.

Landscape Arch

 The next day we went back to climb to Delicate Arch. Here are photos from the drive in.

I love Snow

I think these were my favorite. They are next to the Balanced Rock. To me they looked liked giant toes sticking out of the ground. I could imagine a giant sleeping under the ground with the earth as his blanket; pulling the blanket to cover his head but then it exposes his toes.

 I kept trying to get a descent picture, but every time I took a picture a bush would appear. I had to start trying to take pictures of bushes to get a clear shot of the rocks. But by the time I started to do that the view had changed enough to not give the same affect. 

Here are pictures from the Delicate Arch Hike.

 It was nice to be able to hike on a wide open trail like this. You don't have to go single file. We were hiking on one big rock almost. It was a nice different experience.

Yep I love snow

 This adventure reminded me of the many I've had with my family. Dad is a way better photographer than I am. I look forward to doing more site seeing trips with him.